


To Love (and Hate) a Nerd

by IZKitty



Category: Game Grumps, NSP - Fandom, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IZKitty/pseuds/IZKitty
Summary: When the most anticipated movie of the year is threatened to be ruined by a couple of super-fans, you receive some help in stopping them from a surprisingly attractive source.





	To Love (and Hate) a Nerd

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been taking a few snippets of dialogue from the Game Grumps videos I've been re-watching for ideas, and this is the first in about...three of them that I plan on posting. This one is from their discussion when Dan mentioned he told off some guys in the LOTR premiere for saying lines before the characters could. Enjoy!

It had been months of anticipation, days of refreshing the movie webpage, and hours of standing in line, but you were finally there; the premiere of Deadpool 2 was waiting just beyond the velvet double doors, ready to be watched by its loyal audience. With popcorn in hand and candies stashed in the pockets of your blood red hoodie, the excitement was really starting to set in, pounding at your chest as you fidgeted with your jacket drawstring. You were on pins and needles as you waited for the usher standing by to release the floodgates, allowing the large group of superfans inside to see the midnight showing. And frankly, the folks around you were buzzing with a similar hype, a scrawny line of nylon rope the only thing keeping it contained. Finally, it was unhooked by the theater worker, his arm gesturing for the line to file inside.

Since you’d taken the proper measures and gotten there at a decent time, you were fourth in line, just behind a trio of guys chatting nonstop about the comics they’d just finished reading. Following you was a taller man who seemed to be leading a large cluster of his friends, some of them louder than others as they talked about who would sit with whom. You didn’t mind the noise too much, as long as no one spoke during the movie itself. Quickly as you could, you made a beeline for the very center of the theater. It wasn’t prime seating up on the balcony, but it would certainly be enough for you. The movie was supposed to keep you on the edge of your seat after all, so why pay extra for the luxury if you’d be anything but relaxed?

While everyone else filed into the room - friends, relatives, kids who had more than likely tricked their parents into seeing a “superhero” movie - you noticed that the tall man from before had parked himself directly in front of you, his wild hair alone enough to block your vision. Unfortunately, you weren’t really the confrontational type, but before you could even consider saying anything, he turned and shot you a kind smile. “Hey, no worries about me sitting here, right? I slouch like a motherfucker in these seats anyway, so the massive wall of Jew won’t be in your sights during the film, promise.”

A laugh escaped you before you could really stop it, and you blushed before pressing a hand over your mouth. _He’s pretty funny. Handsome too,_ you thought for a flash of a second. Giving the tall, dark stranger a playful glare, you simply replied, “Good, because I’m a committed fan, Deadpool’s the only one that needs to be in my sights.”

“Right on,” the guy exclaimed, aiming a thumbs up your way until one of his friends tugged on his jacket to make him turn back around and ‘stop flirting.’ Once he was settled, you were pleased to find that he kept his end of the bargain. Despite being nearly six and a half feet tall, you could see clearly over him (albeit with a small, fuzzy line framing the bottom of the screen, but it was easily ignored). He and his group chatted for a while as you scrolled through your phone, waiting anxiously for the previews to begin.

“I can’t wait to see this on the big screen. It’s gonna be ten times better than the bootleg we saw last week on your computer.” The voice directly to your left made you whip your head up, glancing over to see two sleazy looking guys making a straight shot for the seats next to you. Both were wearing Deadpool “Tacos!” shirts, two huge tubs of popcorn in each arm and their pockets full to bursting with food that had clearly been brought from a nearby restaurant. Mental prayers that they would space their seating from you went unanswered as the one closer to you didn’t stop until he was practically touching your arm. They didn’t hesitate to start stuffing their faces, buttery fingers digging into their snacks as they continued to guffaw about the film with their mouths full.

You inched away as best as you could, your eyes flicking back up to the screen. It wasn’t easy, but you were trying your best to avoid their sights. It didn’t help that you were alone, so the situation seemed even more awkward, not to mention slightly disturbing. _Just don’t look at them, they won’t bug you if y-_

“Do you remember the part where Wade has that guy pinned on top of the truck, and the whole thing goes flipping in slow motion?” Now these dirtbags had your full attention. Were they seriously about to spoil the movie before it even began? No one had seen it yet, at least not legally. How inconsiderate could two people be?!

The greasier of the two men scoffed as he leaned far back into his seat, disturbing the couple behind him as he nearly crushed their toes with the back of his chair. “That was a direct rip from the first movie, bro. It even looked the same. Only this time he says, ‘Well, that could have gone better…’ So unoriginal.” 

Their discussion was starting to really get on your nerves, but once again, the man in front of you piped up before you could find your voice, this time aiming his attention at the hecklers. “Uh, guys? Maybe don’t spoil anything for us? Really uncool of you…” The two geeks glared at him, but he kept his poker face, and they grumbled before leaning back into their chairs. You breathed a silent sigh of thanks as the lights finally dimmed. At least someone was on your side in this.

The previews naturally held more promises for Marvel, as well as a few other horror/action films that were expected to hit the big screen fairly soon. You couldn’t help but notice the handsome guy in front of you covering his eyes through all the scary parts, which only made him more adorable. After what felt like an eternity, the final ad displayed itself, and once the first credit appeared, there was a quick roar of applause from the entire audience, you included. The excitement in your stomach soured into dread when you heard the sleazy nerd next to you start speaking the entire opening monologue, word-for-word with Deadpool.

**”I know what you’re thinking…’How did that burn victim circle jerker get another one of these big box office movies?’ Well let me tell ya; never underestimate the power of a legion of comic book geeks with a vendetta for a character to get silver screen justice. It’s almost like you can make a Deadpool movie with no guns, no X-Men - okay, two X-Men no one’s heard of in years - and a British dude as your baddie [yeah, that’s never been done before], and people will still shell out their bank accounts to watch some good ol’ fashioned ass kicking in an over-expensive movie theater. Stan Lee figured this fucking formula out years ago. Why do you think he’s still alive? Dude’s been siphoning the youth of children through the media for years-”**

You could see the taller man’s back visibly bristle as he turned again, but he surprisingly kept his cool as he repeated, “Guys. Seriously. We wanna hear Deadpool say this shit, not you.” His tone was still quite kind in spite of the situation, though it did nothing to stop the slimy jerk from flipping him the bird. Rolling his eyes, he turned back around, the girl with long black hair on his right quietly whispering for him not to worry about it. “But he’s bugging everyone…” you heard him whisper back before they were shushed.

The next half hour passed in blissful silence, opening credits for the film leading straight into another Deadpool monologue, which was thankfully without an echo courtesy of the dick to your left. The peace was short-lived, however, when the two started up again, this time relaying dialogue back and forth to each other in short bursts. Whether it was Wade, Blind Al, Weasel, or whomever speaking, they were taking turns adding their own voices for the character onscreen, to the point where it was getting infuriating for everyone around you.

Finally, after a particularly funny scene was deconstructed by the disruptors, the tall man in front of you whipped around, his eyebrows furrowed in a fit of rage. His voice was certainly no longer friendly; in fact, it sounded like he’d gained an accent as his anger tipped the scale. “YO. Shut the fuck up!”

“THANK you,” you found yourself exclaiming, and the small crowd that had been grumbling about their little game spoke up in agreement. The sleazy men glanced around at the many disgruntled faces surrounding them, along with an exasperated usher, who had been retrieved by another patron who was clearly just as tired of them.

“Okay, guys. Let’s go, we’ve gotten at least seven other complaints about you. You’re gone.” The people in sight of the small justice whooped and clapped as the grumbling man-children were escorted out, and you gave the guy in front of you, who was still watching, a gleeful thumbs up. He winked back at you before turning around to face the screen, the movie picking up with no further interruptions.

~~~

The crowd stood and cheered as the final scene of the film played, following the credits as per the norm for Marvel films. Stretching your arms over your head, the bustle of people filing out of the theater provided background noise as you tidied up your area. A tap to your back made you flinch, spinning around to see the nice guy from before smiling shyly at you.

“Hey, uhm...thanks for having my back with those bags of dicks. I can’t believe they were gonna make us endure their bullshit all through the movie.” He seemed to be fidgeting with his hands a lot as he spoke, looking down at them before his warm, brown eyes met yours again.

There was a quick pause as you found your voice, until finally you replied, and naturally the first thing you managed to express was disbelief. “Me? You were fucking awesome, man. You hit those douches with the _hard_ ‘STFU.’ I’ve never heard one performed with such purpose, kudos.”

The tall man blushed deeply, his curly locks covering his eyes as he laughed joyously. “I-I honestly don’t know what came over me. Did you catch my accent? I went full Jersey on ‘em,” he joked with a chuckle. 

The moment he mentioned where the dialect had been from, it clicked in your head, causing you to laugh in return as his words repeated mentally. “I did! Holy shit...Hey, but nothing to be ashamed of, right? If anything it gave your fury like, ten times the infliction,” you responded, the smile on your face kind and inviting. Just like his seemed to be…

“DAN!” A piercing voice rang out over the crowd, causing you both to jump before turning to see one of his friends waving from across the room. He was about the same height as his companion, a straight, blonde streak highlighting his otherwise chocolate brown hair. On his face was a mixed expression of confusion and coy amusement. “What the fuck are you doing, dude? We thought you were behind us! Get your lack of an ass in motion, we don’t have all night!”

The man named Dan grumbled to himself, but you could tell it was still playful given that he was smirking. He then gestured wildly in your direction before shouting back, “I’m kind of busy, Ar! Goddammit, can’t a guy ask someone out without being fucking heckled?!”

Your attention snapped immediately from his friend back to Dan, your eyes wide with shock as your heart hammered wildly in your chest. “A-ask out? L-like a date?” you finally stuttered out, unsure if you’d passed out during the movie and were now dreaming. Clumsily backing into the chair behind you, resulting in a shooting pain in your shin, quickly debunked that theory.

Dan chuckled again, the low sound sweet music to your ears as he slowly nodded. “I mean, only if you’re cool with that. I was thinking we could get a coffee? Talk about our favorite parts of the film? Hey, we got off lucky if you think about it. At least we know that we both like Deadpool and Marvel.”

“...Yeah, I-I guess we do! He said your name’s Dan, right? Here, let me add your number right now.” You smiled wide as you pulled your phone from your hoodie, punching in his phone number before exchanging it with your own. After it was all said and done, you looked up only to find yourself lost in his eyes again. It was amazing the hold they had on you…

“Dan! If you’re the last one to the car, I’m gonna tie you to the roof!” another of his friends shouted, this one shorter than the others, and seemingly a couple of years older. The poker face he held was somewhat menacing, so you knew there was a fifty-fifty chance that he was kidding.

“Yikes...you’d better get over there,” you joked, giggling as Danny flipped his pal off in reply. “Are you sure that’s wise? He seems like the type of person that you shouldn’t fuck with.”

Dan simply shrugged in reply, shooting you a casual smirk. “Yeah, Brian gets that a lot...probably because it’s totally the truth.” Another wave of laughter was exchanged between the two of you before he waved, turning to join his group across the thinning cluster of patrons that were still milling about. “Catch you later! Wait, shit! I never got your name!”

“It’s [y/n]!!” you yelled back, happily waving back even after Dan had reunited with his team. The guy named Brian seemed to give him some more sass (preferably about his ‘insatiable appetite for sexing it up with hotties’) before the rest of them moved out, and you went in the opposite direction, wondering when you’d see him again.

~~~

Just as you got to your car, the sound of your text tone went off, the screen filling with a wall of emojis and messages:

**_Hey, baaaaaby!~ Can’t wait to see you and talk about my feelings all night long~ Ever have a man that cries during sex? Well, look no further~_ **

A burst of laughter escaped you before you could stop it, the messages hard to see through your joyful tears. After a moment, another text appeared: **_Shiiiit, sorry. Brian got hold of my fucking phone. He said it’s what I get for making them wait so I could get some._**

Still giggling madly, you swiftly responded: **_No worries. I’m still up for that coffee this week if you’ve got some free time. Just don’t bring Brian. I bet he’s the kind of guy that would wanna tag along._**

The three dots of loading text popped up under yours, and you waited until Dan finished with: **_Oh, you have NO fuckin idea. Wait until I show you what I do for a living._**

Thinking for a moment, you texted back: **_Should I be worried or…?_**

**_...........Just keep an open mind, okay?_ **

In that moment, you realized that this new venture could go either amazingly well or horrendously tragic. And every fiber in you hoped that it was going to be the former.


End file.
